Maybe this is the year you’ve decided to get serious about online dating – and if so, Yay! Rather than going with one of those websites that’s mainly just a variation of “Hot or Not,” THIS time you signed up for match.com, fully intending to look for someone with a bit of substance. You took your time writing up a shiny new dating profile – and then you got inundated with scammers. I know, that’s the biggest issue with Match. Scammers think that since you’re willing to pay a company, that you are willing to pay them. BUT HELLLL NO. You’re here for something real, and Aste is here to help!
We’ve still all heard the stories of people meeting on Match.com and we’re romantics at heart. So we date safer, take heed on how to write a great profile and also follow the instructions on how to get quality matches while online dating. And when the scammers start talking to you, you block, report, and move on to someone that is real.
So there’s two things to talk about here.
- Finding someone you think might be online (like someone you’re dating, married to, a friend’s friend, etc)
- Finding someone single that you want to be with
Let’s get on into it.
Let’s start with finding someone you think might be on Match.
- USERNAME! Match still lets you search by username! Does the person you’re looking for tend to use the same username through all of their social media? If so, try out Match’s user name search here: SEARCH MATCH
- DETAILS! Age, location, etc. Put in what you know and limit it as much as you can.
- DETAILS TAKE 2: A lot of people will lie about their age or other details. Tweak the filter now to let more in.
- CRITERIA: Look for their ethnicity, spirituality, desire for children… see who else ends up in your matches.
And nothing??? Well, you may be blocked. You can always have a friend look for you to make sure you haven’t been blocked.
If all of this doesn’t work, there may be a setting off, the person you’re searching for may not be on the site at all, they may be lying…or hell, you may just be doing these searches wrong. Just don’t forget that Match.com won’t let you manually search for your friend as they take user privacy very seriously, so typing in “John Smith” isn’t gonna help at all.
Search for love:
YAY! Let’s get it going!
- DETAILS!!! So I’m 38 and I want to find men that are in my range and in my location. I then make the filters to seek men, ages 35 to 42, and within 5 miles of Boston. But I want only men that have photos, because that helps cut down people that use Match for the wrong reasons. Here’s a screenshot of what it should look like:
- FILTER PROFILES. So I immediately look at who I have that fit my criteria. Of course you’re going to look at photos. That’s step one. Lets start clicking on some.
RED FLAGS: If you run into profiles that have variations of “No crazy chicks,” “No drama,” or “Just ask,” in them, this is a clear tell, right up front, that the person on the other end of that profile has some baggage and negativity that you might want to steer clear of! If you want to see some other examples of profiles that should make you run, head on over to a friend’s account for some of the worst: Single In Boston on Instagram
MESSAGES: Feel free to start a message to someone you think might be a fit! Between Bumble and Tinder, it doesn’t matter anymore who makes the first move. Just be sure that you read their profile and try to tailor a message to them, because a “hi” or “how’s your day” doesn’t get you anywhere anymore.
THE NUMBERS GAME: Don’t put your eggs in one basket! Remember that (sadly) 82% of people lie on their online dating profile, so the first guy you sent a sweet message to? He may be married. Or maybe he’s just here for an ego boost. If you want to maximize your chances for finding “The One”, then give yourself permission to send winks or friendly opening messages to a number of different people 😉
And before you ever meet up with someone you met online…
Friends, remember that you NEED to do your due diligence on the people you meet on Match.com (or any other dating website) – and even then, it’s still smart to have us lend you a hand for extra piece of mind! Unfortunately, we have many, many examples that have shown us that people lie all the time on their dating profiles. Sometimes it’s about something relatively minor, like, say, how tall they are. Sometimes it’s more about hiding some massive red flags that you’d want to know about before you’re in too deep. You want to find love, but you want to be safe and not opening yourself up to scammers in the process – and that’s why you want to be smart and use some of the tools we discussed in this post. Even better, it’s smart to have the Aste team working hard to help you steer clear of those scammers and all those red flags! For the price of the first round of drinks? Yeah, I’d say it’s worth it.
Love and light,