Chances are, if you’re dating, you have an online dating profile or two out there. As we’ve shared before, there are 45 million Americans using dating apps and sites to find partners! That means your chances of finding people you’re interested in online are huge. However, online dating does come with its own sets of challenges that we need to adjust to. For example, struggling with self-esteem is something almost everyone faces at one point or another and this lack of confidence has changed a bit since online dating has boomed. In order to help you feel confident online, I enlisted my friend Jack, a men’s wellness and confidence expert, to share his male perspective and I’ll share my female perspective and help you learn how you can confidently date online.

Don’t compare yourself to others

For the guys

Social media can be a great way to connect with others and find inspiration. However, it’s also an easy way to deplete your confidence if you begin comparing yourself to others. People put the best versions of themselves on display online, which can be a bit intimidating if you don’t have the perfect filters or a professional photographer. If you find that you’re putting yourself down because you don’t think love interests will swipe right on you since you’re not an Instagram model, adjust your way of thinking. Remember that these people aren’t actually the perfect versions that they put out online – we all have our flaws. You have your own set of unique qualities to offer to a partner which you should recognize and highlight in your profile.

For the ladies

We all know what it’s like to scroll through the perfect pictures of our friends and celebrities on Facebook and Instagram and say “I wish I looked like that”. Well, you look like you. Glorious, beautiful, you. And you’re perfect. When you’re online dating you’re not competing with other women on the platform, your only focus should be on yourself and how to shine the best light on you. So show off that shiny smile, full length photo, and the things that make you wonderfully unique in this world. There’s no one else to worry about.

Share pics you feel good in

For the guys

Your pictures are one of the first things that people will see of you on the dating site. Do your best to use flattering pictures that tell more about you. No more boring mirror selfies, fellas! Put on something nice, fix up your hair, and get a nice picture taken. If there’s something making you self-conscious, such as a receding hairline, consider using products or methods that can boost your confidence, like using a hair thickener. In having this issue myself, I found that the best solution for me is to regularly use Minoxidil. You should also try to incorporate pictures that show more about you and what you enjoy doing. That way, others can get a clear image of you as a person and will have something to relate to.

For the ladies

Spend some time going through all your pictures and find (and favorite) ones that you know you’re shining through as a rockstar. Now it’s time to call in a friend for a second opinion. Open a bottle of wine and pick your 4-6 favorites together. The first picture you’ll upload will be your main one so if you’re a little goofy, give it a little goofy of an edge. If you’re a serious bookwork, have some books in the picture. If you’re active, share a picture of you doing a handstand or in a happy yoga stance. Having a picture of you doing something that feeds your fire will absolutely shine through in images and jump off the screen to a potential suitor. And I don’t know about you, but if I’m not into skiing, I usually don’t swipe right on someone who posts mostly skiing photos. Though they look super happy, but I know that’s not a hobby of mine and our interests probably won’t align. So make sure to put out the pics of you that will attract who you’re looking for.

Create a fun and personable bio

For the guys

Besides your pictures, your profile’s bio is what others will be viewing before deciding whether or not they want to get to know you more. Rule number one is no lying! Using false information to make yourself seem more interesting will just come back to bite you. Being honest will allow you to be more confident when chatting with others because they already know a bit about you. Consider which activities you enjoy and make sure to highlight them in your bio. Sharing what you like doing will help others connect with you and will make it easier to spark a conversation.

For the ladies

Though most men seem to tell me that they swipe and then read the bio later, it’s really important to talk about who you are, what you’re looking for, and what your interests are. Also: include things that may be deal-breakers for some. There’s nothing worse than everyone wasting time because you failed to mention that you’re a bank robber. Or you’re a heavy drinker. Or you’re in an open marriage. So when creating your profile think about who you are and what you’re looking for and try to convey that the best way you can. Have friends read it over too! They know you best!

Do you sense a theme throughout? All we’re both trying to tell everyone that’s online dating is to *be yourself*. Your wonderfully, wacky, quirky, smart, funny, unique, self. Embrace exactly who you are and as the confidence flows, so will the energy in the world attracting you to likeminded people and experiences that make this life so exciting.

Go forth confidently. And if you’re a guy looking for a little more help on confidence, check out the men’s health blog that Jack contributes to for tips from everything from ED to cocktails.

And if you find yourself lacking confidence in the person you matched with on one of the sites, remember to do your due diligence on your new match or have us do it for you. We’ll make sure there’s no red flags on your new connection. Though you’re being honest in your profile, it’s been found that 81% of people lie on their profile. We’ll find what they’re hiding.

Now go forth and find love! Just do it safely, please 🙂

Love and light,

How To Feel Confident Dating Online – The Male And Female Perspectives

Don’t compare yourself to others

Share pics you feel good in

Create a fun and personable bio

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Don’t compare yourself to others

Share pics you feel good in

Create a fun and personable bio

Share this:

Like this:

Related